Hola, my name is Arlo and this is the second thing I have finished while in lock down. This is a very random story about this picture.“Ah at last I finished taking photos for my school project” I sighed in relief. A random man overheard me and turned to say something. His mouth opened then closed again without a whisper as if it was illegal to talk. After a moment of awkward silence he asked me “what is your project about?”. Just then as if he was psychic he said “I saw you take a picture of a letter box outside the city square”. Then he took a breath, “there was a classified letter coming out of the box and I spotted you opening it…”. I knew that I should not have been nosy and suddenly without warning an interrupting rumble filled the air and a squad of F.B.I came running into the subway. The man picked me up and threw me onto the train. Holding on for dear life it seemed he either saved me or got me into more trouble…
What did you think?
adios amigos,- Arlo
Hi Arlo, I love your story, great vocabulary and punctuation! I like how you asked us a question to engage us. I think the man was helping but I'd love to see a part 2 of the story! Have you ever written a pick-a-path story where the audience get to decide what happens next?
ReplyDeleteHola Phil, yes I have done pick a paths before but not as a sequel to my original writing project. That is a very interesting concept for my next project... but one thing I do love is making pick a paths, you can even use the technique for making games like "find the clue" or a quiz, but if you get the answer wrong you lose at what ever your task is.
DeleteI am currently making a game of "Undertale" because it's creator inspires me when I feel creative.
Who/what inspires you? adios amigos,- Arlo
Great work Arlo! I love the way you have written it so the reader is left wanting to know more. You have set the scene well and built up the suspense. Great use of dialogue markers and even an ellipsis (...) in there. I agree with Phill Margetts - bring on Part 2! A pick a path would suit this style of writing really well too.
ReplyDeleteHi Arlo, I really hope being thrown onto the train was a good thing! Is the man there to help? Is the FBI really the FBI, or are they dressed in fake uniforms so we will trust them? I agree with Phil and Rachael - bring on Part 2!
ReplyDeleteHi Arlo, Pick a path please :-) Maria
ReplyDeleteps you know I always enjoy reading your writing ... enough said.
Hi Arlo, sounds like this story needs a sequel, great piece of writing, I'm intrigued to know what happens next....
ReplyDelete