my writing (first bit). The huts were colossal with pale-maroon colouring. They looked like factories with masses of smoke coming from them. The girl stood in the chilly snow next to her sleeping brother upon a yak. She felt relieved they made it through to the town. She was exhausted!
Your writing shows a great ability to capture what is happening within the image, Arlo, and your use of adjectives help portray this. Well done.
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